India changes national flag.

In a shock announcement by the Congress led UPA government today, it was revealed that India is going to adopt a new national flag. Announcing this in a press gathering today, the home minister Sri P Chidambaram announced that the government will table a motion in the lower house to this end today. He also announced that a committee will be constituted jointly chaired by inspirationalists Sri Anu Malik and Sri Pritam.

Later in the day, speaking to mediapersons, Sri Anu Malik announced that the template for the new flag will be inspired by the flag of the USA. When asked for the rationale behind this move, he said that since we are anyway getting towards 50 states, and the nation's youth strongly identifies with everything that USA does, this would minimise effort while maximising return on investment. When a curious Priyananda Shenoy, who has been strongly agitating since the dawn of time for Mulki to be made into a union, intersection and symmetric difference territory, asked him what investment he was referring to, Anu Malik gave him his DEMAT details.

Wen Jiabao celebrates Karva Chauth

In keeping with the tradition of heads of random governments celebrating Indian festivals, Wen Jiabao, the Premier of the People's Republic of China today celebrated Karva Chauth in all grandeur. The official release also mentioned that Wen fasted through the day to see the moon at night; but since it was a new moon day, the moon never rose, and he died.


In response to this sudden development of heads of major countries across the world celebrating random Indian festivals, Dr Manmohan Singh announced in his NDTV interview today that the Indian government would sponsor the celebration of one new festival every year. "This year, we will celebrate labor day", he said. "But we already celebrate that, sODa nann magane", shouted an irate Priyananda Shenoy from the audience. "Also, it is labour", he added, demonstrating his long association with a grammar Nazi.

Norway renamed to Nigeria

Oslo, 9th Oct 2009: Mr. Jens Stoltenberg, the prime minister of Norway, announced to the media earlier today that President Barack Obama of the United States of America has won the Nobel Peace Prize for being the most promising person to deliver the promise of everlasting peace to this planet. In addition, he also mentioned that President Obama could redeem his prize by making a cheque of $10000 to the Nobel Peace Prize Committee, Nigeria.

In other news, President Mugabe of Zimbabwe is said to have applied for a permanent citizenship of the USA since his advisers have advised him (haha!) that the easiest way to win the Peace Prize these days is to be a Black American Citizen. In addition $10000 Zimbabwean is rather easy to transfer, since all you need to do is print a new note and send it across.

Man arrested for accepting dowry.

In what has to be a case of gruesome sexist crime, Mr Priyananda Shenoy of Dasarahalli area was arrested by the Vijayanagar police today for ordering copious amounts of Sambar to be made for his wedding ceremony. The police claimed that at the present price of Toor dal, this amounted to dowry and hence Mr Shenoy had to be arrested. But, hilarity ensued when the police jeep was not big enough to accommodate Mr Shenoy, who at 6' 2'' is the tallest Konkani vegetarian to get married in all of history. The police had to temporarily borrow one of the mini vans that had ferried unrelated people to his wedding, since Mr Shenoy himself could not get enough people interested in the ceremony.

Filler

Haven't posted in a long time and did not want to forget the username and password for my blogger account. Hence, I am going to post a filler. A filler like no other, one which fills, adequately and requisitely, and conveniently gets off all those people whom I imagine to be on my back to write something new, although there is no one, who themselves are fillers in a different sense, of the sense which fill the void that is left by the people who do not exist, whom I imagine to be present and pressurising me to constantly pour out my innermost thoughts on this online journal.

Rubbish, my grandpa would say. aDa chee, my granny would say. vyaak thoo, some wayfarer would say. thoo ninna, tEnga kola, maNNangaTTi, bakwaas, someone would say. At all this nonsense that I have typed.

And now for something completely different. A bunch of photographs. From the last weekend. When I took my motorcycle and went riding on the coast. And had fun.

So here they are, the photos, the real fillers.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/thequark/sets/72157622177185811/

Religious leaders protest the alteration of a kannada saying in India.

In a recent landmark decision, the Karnataka High Court decided to change the famous kannada saying "haasigeyiddashTu kaalu chaachu" (extend your leg as long as the bed) to its contrapositive "haasigeginta hecchaagi kaalannu chaachabEDa" (Do not extend your leg beyond the bed). This action was taken thanks to a PIL filed by noted loafer and chairman of the "Contrapositives're Unusually Nerdy and Trite " Priyananda Shenoy because he had run out of everything else to do. Mr Shenoy's contention was that the original saying was designed to be against midgets, short people and people with polio. Being the self righteous NRI that he has become, he promptly decided to get some good karma by filing this PIL in Konkani in the Karnataka High Court.

Reacting to this judgement, noted religious leaders [Baba Anybody], [Insert yet another jobless Muslim Cleric here, because each one of them is as jobless as any other anyway], [And any paedophile of an Archbishop here], [And some random Sikh and Jain and what not leaders just so that they do not go back to their respective gods and start crying endlessly] said that this was against Indian culture and it was unnatural to be short and our social fabric was built around not being so. By changing this age old practice of marginalising the minority, they alleged that the High Court was trying to break some sacred tenets and trying to corrupt the Indian society and the Indian culture. In particular, they also said that these people were diseased and could be treated by hanging them from tall trees so that gravity would eventually make them long enough to occupy the whole bed anyway.

TR!

TR Q and A:

1) += ?

2) + = ?



The Answers:

1)

2)