My daughter

Priya:

i dream of the day when NP-completeness is taught in kindergarten

Rajesh:

nicest try

Priya: i dream of the day when NP-completeness is taught in kindergarten

Priya:

evolution man

our kids are noticibly smarter than us

Rajesh:

That dream is NP-Complete

idiot, no one is teaching elementary number theory in kindergarten yet

not after all these years...

Priya:

i blame TV

Rajesh:

no one teaches congruences in kindergarten

eh?

Priya:

i blame TVs ... cartoons make kids dumb

Rajesh:

kindly die

do you want your daughter to be 35 from birth?

Priya:

my daughter will win the nobel, turing and fields medal ... before i die

Rajesh:

She will be a burglar

Priya:

that too :D

Rajesh:

My daughter will win the wimbledon, nobel, turing, cricket, rugby and football world cups and be chairman of IMF

She will win the Ranji also

and also a KQA quiz

Priya:

my daughter will win an oscar playing herself in a movie about herself

Rajesh:

my daughter will buy the oscars and keep winning it forever

in all categories

she will also win the best daughter in a daughter's role

Priya:

my daughter will clone herself and rule the world

Rajesh:

my daughter will break those rules

Priya:

my daughter will solve world poverty, hunger,population and pollution ... during spring break

Rajesh:

my daughter will have to make her own problems to solve because she would've solved everything else by birth

my daughter will throw your daughter in a dustbin

Priya:

my daughter will prove the Shenoy Thesis: anything which can or cannot be computed can be computed by a Shenoy

Rajesh:

my daughter will expose the farce in this

and prove the Rajesh thesis: If you don't know how to do it, forget it

Priya:

he he ... this is a nerdy versiobn of Chuck Norrisisms

Ways to impress kannada gal it seems...

chitte chitte

Carrying on the noble task started by Priya, I hereby endeavour to translate some amazing poetry seen in kannada cinema in recent times to my readers




He: aye chiTTe chiTTe chiTTe chiTTe KR maarukaTTe naan ninage baredu koTTe
aye butterfly butterfly butterfly butterfly KR market, I gave it off to you.
She: aye koTTe koTTe koTTe koTTe kannambaaDi kaTTe naan ninge muDipu iTTe
aye gave gave gave gave kannambaaDi kaTTe, I mortgaged it for you
He: ninna kaNN yaakO nanne gurrukoTTyaave aase barrekaTTyaave
your eyes for some reason stare at me, desire starts coming
She: ninna tuTi nange padya hELikoTyaave guMDge ghaavu koTyaave
your lips teach me some poem, give me a chest wound

He: aye chiTTe chiTTe chiTTe chiTTe KR maarukaTTe naan ninage baredu koTTe
aye butterfly butterfly butterfly butterfly KR market, I gave it off to you.
She: aye koTTe koTTe koTTe koTTe kannambaaDi kaTTe naan ninge muDipu iTTe
aye gave gave gave gave kannambaaDi kaTTe, I mortgaged it for you
He: ninna kaNN yaakO nanne gurrukoTTyaave aase barrekaTTyaave
your eyes for some reason stare at me, desire starts coming
She: ninna tuTi nange padya hELikoTyaave guMDge ghaavu koTyaave
your lips teach me some poem, give me a chest wound

Them: hey ya!
hey ya!
Them: hey ya!
hey ya!
Them: hey ya!
hey ya!
Them: hey ya!
hey ya!
Them: hey ya!
hey ya!
Them: hey ya!
hey ya!


She: building kaTTo mEstri welding maaDikO, nanna welding maaDiko
building construction superintendent do welding for yourself, do welding of me with yourself
He: buildup yaake bittari, tOLalli sErikO, baMdu tOLalli sErikO
why the buildup bittari, join the shoulder, come and join the shoulder
She: aye bhElu puriya baalaka bEkaaddu kELikO
aye! bhEl puri's boy ask whatever you want
He: paanipuriya paanaka baay tumba heerikO
take in a mouthful of paanipuri's sweet water
She: neenee kissu koTTaroo nandu seatu punctureu
if you kiss my seat will be punctured
He: neenu muTTi biTTaroo ayyO naanu punctureu
if you touch me, Oh! I am only punctured!

He: aye chiTTe chiTTe chiTTe chiTTe KR maarukaTTe naan ninage baredu koTTe
aye butterfly butterfly butterfly butterfly KR market, I gave it off to you.
She: aye koTTe koTTe koTTe koTTe kannambaaDi kaTTe naan ninge muDipu iTTe
aye gave gave gave gave kannambaaDi kaTTe, I mortgaged it for you


Them: hey ya!
hey ya!
Them: hey ya!
hey ya!
Them: hey ya!
hey ya!
Them: hey ya!
hey ya!
Them: hey ya!
hey ya!
Them: hey ya!
hey ya!

She: naan oMdu lottery company, bumperu hoDedukO, ah! bumperu hoDedukO!
I am a lottery company, come and hit the bumper, ah! hit the bumper!
He: krishna bhagyalakshmiyE marriageu maaDikO, nannE marriageu maaDikO
krishna bhagyalakshmi, marry, marry me wonly
She: baLegaara neenu pOkiri touchingu maaDikO
Oh! banglesman loafer, do the touching
He: baLe haakutteeni chOkkari fittingu nODikO
I will put the bangles on you, O girl, check the fitting
She: naanu baambay miTTaayi neenu local saaraayi
I am bombay candy, you are local arrack
He: naanu ninna sipaayi aaDu abba abbaayi
I am your soldier, play hide and seek

He: aye chiTTe!
aye butterfly!
She: En chiTTe?
what butterfly?
He: aaa keTTe!
aaa I am screwed!

He: aye chiTTe chiTTe chiTTe chiTTe KR maarukaTTe naan ninage baredu koTTe
aye butterfly butterfly butterfly butterfly KR market, I gave it off to you.
She: aye koTTe koTTe koTTe koTTe kannambaaDi kaTTe naan ninge muDipu iTTe
aye gave gave gave gave kannambaaDi kaTTe, I mortgaged it for you

He: KR market baredu koTTe!
I gave off KR market to you!
She: marketu ashTEnaa?
Only market eh?
He: mathikere baredu koTTe!
I gave off mathikere!
She: mathikere iTkoMDu naanEn maaDli?
What will I do with mathikere?
He: MG Roadu baredu koTTe!
I gave off MG Road!
She: idoMdEnaa? byaare iddre hELu
Only this? If you have something else, tell me.
He: bengaLoorne baredu koTTe! bengaLoorne baredu koTTe!
I gave off Bangalore itself! I gave off Bangalore itself!
She: aanh! hang hELu! ayyO! nann jilEbi!
aanh! tell like that! ayyO! my jilEbi!

Randomness

Srikanth: you two are devolving from pretty intelligent lads to two shakespeare's random monkeys

Rajesh: heh

I was always random, I am just corrupting him

Srikanth: if u're random, you have no seed
Rajesh: =)). I am pseudorandom, then

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pseudorandom

Context Free

Priya: this is a nice dating site ante http://www.plentyoffish.com/

Rajesh: Me prefer traditional thunderbolts

Priya: as opposed to a misbehaving bose speaker>

Rajesh: idiot

remember godfather?

He gets hit by "thunderbolt" in Sicily

Michael

Priya: ah! so ... how should i know context

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Context_free_grammar

Encryption!

Priya: i want my kid to be super intelligent

i want her to become a physicist

Rajesh: That will be my kid with your wife

Priya: fuck you

Rajesh: your kid with your wife will be something similar to Bush

Priya: i will encrypt my wife

Rajesh: =))

Statue!

Thanks to Srikanth for showing me this.

Best pickup line...

Tell her that you will walk her home and walk her to your home.

Tall, dark and...

Rajesh: my dreamgirl is tall, dark and buxom

Priya: i thought tall dark and tam-brahm

Rajesh: =))

Valentine's day

The people and events referred to in this post may or may not be real. Figuring out whether they are not is none of your business in the first place, so just read on.

It is neither dark, nor stormy. Nor is it a night. It is the morning of the 14th of February, 2008. Rakesh wakes up and decides to abuse the commercialism that is synonymous with the day. So, he puts up a gtalk status message deriding the concept that is Valentine's Day.

The whole day passes by without any significant incident in Rakesh's life. Well, almost the whole day, I must say.

Ramya is a hot girl. She is from Bangalore and is a Kannadiga, and Rakesh was always secretly putting line to her. On the morning of the day, she had asked him to wait for her at the university gate so that she could tell him something. Clearly, our man was excited about the prospects, albeit imaginary at this moment and dressed up well by the evening. But the fact that she would come and do whatever she did at 5 pm on 14th of February, 2008 was something that he had not imagined in his wildest dreams. And whether or not you are curious to know what it is, I am going to describe the incident.

Ramya came to Rakesh, bent down on one knee, took out a Rakhi and tied it on his hand. She said 'aNNa, neen noor varsha baaLbEku. elli aa annu sweet koDteeni' and put an old chocolate in his mouth. All the girls that she had gathered to see this burst out into a peal of laughter. Our hero's heart sank lower than the dead sea.

Rakesh's status message after this:
Chamak: Surprise / Betrayal: "Maga, Ramya nanage chamak koTTbiTTlu maga. Ramya nanage rose koDtaaLe aMkoMDidde, raakhi kaTTbiTTLu maga!"

Manohar's response:
Chamak: Surprise / Betrayal: Ramya Rakeshge chamak koTTbiTTlu maga. Ramya Rakeshge rose koDtaaLe aMkoMDiddnaMte, raakhi kaTTbiTTLaMte!

Lovemaking

Step 1: Obtain a bed
Step 2: Put it in a bed room
Step 3: Find a partner
Step 4: Boot machine up, preferably to linux or some *nix OS.
Step 5: Copy the contents given below into a makefile, put it in some place convenient and go to that directory in the shell
Step 6: Type make love , press return and enjoy

love: partner_find
      echo "Nice try sucker"
partner_find:
      echo "Yeah right!"

A special someone

Rajesh: What will you do after you find your special someone?

Priya: verify it in poly time

Rajesh: I will generalise her

Priya: in minkowski 4D space

Rajesh: we have no chance biDu

Rajesh: Remember Catch 22
Priya: ja
Rajesh: Remember the letter that Doc Daneeka's wife gets when he is supposed to be killed?
Priya: no
Rajesh: Dear Mrs., Mr., Miss, or Mr. and Mrs. Daneeka:

Words cannot express the deep personal grief I experienced when your husband, son, father or brother was killed, wounded or reported missing in action.
Priya: Now this is true non-determinism
Rajesh: =))