Thursday, 22 February 2007

Lemon Warfare

Q1: What is the most potent weapon when your adversary is your neighbour and is off guard?
A: A Lemon, preferably injected with some vermilion water, embellished with arbitrary chants and cut into two.

Q2: How is the weapon employed?
A: One way is to generally throw it on the houses of the neighbours when they are asleep. The most important part of this process follows. Which is wait until your neighbours get run over by an African elephant making out with a Mexican Chihuahua, or wait until they become Walrus fodder, or just wait until a nuclear bomb destined to Pluto loses way and ends up in the commode of your adversary.

Q3: How did I come upon this ingenious and marvellous idea?
A: My neighbours employed this rather powerful weapon upon us. Now I am worried and shit scared whenever I get out of home. Especially when I go to office. Who knows? A lurking gay Yeti might just spring out of the Bangalore City Corporation building and decide to molest me....

Somebody help me!

PS: Forgot to say, is the Indian Army listening???

7 comments:

Shobith said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Shobith said...

HILARIOUS!!!, reminds me of HHGTG :D, why don't you throw pineapples at them? it'll certainly do more damage than lemons!! :P

The Quark said...

Do not underestimate the power of the Lemon, my dear friend...

Even otherwise, pineapples are expensive

vinay said...

If granny next door throws lemons at you make lemonade !!

Shobith said...

I think that granny is hitting on you :P

The Quark said...

With lemons, of course

The God Of Tall Things said...

Lemons .. helping amorous old women get hot young guys since 1882.