Chennai Autodrivers thwart terror attack

While the Mumbai was reeling under the recent terror attacks, an act of bravery by a Chennai Auto-driver has gone unnoticed. Our correspondent chanced upon this story and we have this saga for you in full detail.

Senthil Muthukrishnan is an auto driver from Saidapet, Chennai. His daily routine begins with a masala tea and a pack of beedi, after which he makes way to Chennai Central railway station, where his modus operandi is to catch visitors to Chennai promising them to ferry them to their destination and then promptly decide to swindle them either by taking them through a long circuitous route to their destination or by exhausting their supply of money and patience, whichever occurs first.

On the 1^st of December 2008, Senthil went to the Central as usual. There, he found Kasab II, an insurgent who had made way to Chennai in the hope of blowing it up, a la the recent Delhi bombings. KII's modus operandi was to proceed to the Chennai Corporation, which is situated very close to the railway station, plant a bomb there and detonate it remotely. However, he had to go to the harbour to obtain his weapons of mass destruction. And he had very little time because his aunt in Hyderabad had promised that she will make extremely tasty mutton curry if he arrives there the next morning. This turned out to be the turning point.

KII had a total supply of Rs 1000 to finish this operation. He got out of the railway station and made way to the auto stand. Whom should he find there but Senthil? He quickly got into the auto and murmured "Take me to the harbour". Senthil replied saying that it will cost him 400 rupees, noticing that KII was not dressed in lungi and banian, the official clothing of The Republic of Tamilnadu. KII, not knowing what he was getting into, agreed. Thereafter, Senthil promptly proceeded to take KII in circles.

After encircling the railway station area for the 321^st time, and with no harbour in sight, KII got a little impatient and asked when they would be reaching there. Senthil promptly entered the thick of the autorickshaws parked outside the railway station and said that he won't be getting out unless KII pays him Rs 700 above the meter. With just 20 minutes left for the train to leave for Hyderabad, KII had no option but to pay whatever he had, and run. Which is what he did.

And that is how we got saved.

PS: This is humour. Yes, this is insensitive. But, it is not irresponsible like this, or the media showing the commando operations like it was some reality tv show, or Barkha Dutt not letting the sensible people talk in We The People and preferring TRPs from the sob stories, or, well, I can go on and on.

Tired, and ashamed.

Enough. We have had enough.

I have watched the news like a madman for the last 35 hours or so, minus the hours that I slept. And, I am pissed, and sad. Not just sad, worried. And worried badly. And it has got me thinking...

I want my kids to grow up in a safe environment, with Indian values, in Indian culture. But is this even possible? I got thinking about this as soon as I watched the news, and here, I am trying to pour out my thoughts over the last 30 hours or so...

1) India has spent a lot on my life. A lot, a damn lot. First of all, my education was subsidised. Secondly, my transportation was. And a lot of other things, the rice that I ate, the shoes that I wore, and what not. And how am I going to give back all the effort which has gone into these perks that I got?

2) How many of us actually know when the last terror attacks were on this country? How many people died there? How many of us really feel bad about this? I mean, really feel bad, not platonically, but really?

3) Who elected these idiots into the parliament? What business did the opposition leader and the home minister have in Mumbai? Weren't the security forces pressed hard enough? What rubbish is this? What was Mr Patil thinking when he announced to the whole world about the NSG's modus operandi?

All in all, I think that it is about time that we stopped warming our rear ends here, and got back. Our country has spent a lot on us. There is something in our passports that we think is important. It ascertains that we are Indian citizens. Our country needs strong surveillance and reconnaissance operations now. It needs people who can contribute with their technical know how. It needs people to run the administrative sector. I urge people to write the UPSC, apply to government jobs and such.

Of course, not many will return unless the jobs are lucrative. So, please stop spending on ridiculous things and start funding jobs, so that we have a secure nation for our descendants. I am sick and tired of the sops which we are dishing out towards religious objectives. Please, stop funding things like the Haj. The rich can go. The poor can pray at home. If your God ignores the poor, then he is no God. Please listen to your reason. Please pour that money towards creating a safer, more educated India.

I am ashamed of the fact that I can think reasonably about these issues, and still feel helpless. I am irritated about the fact that my only choices for governments are between a votebank crazy one and a religiously fundamentalist one. If you, as an Indian, are not feeling bad about this, this is time for checking whether your conscience is alive or not. Until you give back to India, I don't see how you can be practicing Indian values, nor can I see how you can call yourself Indian. Bury all differences and get back.

This is how best I can collect my thoughts right now.

JAI HIND!

Mommy Crazy - III (Mommy gets it, this time)

Mom: what did you have for dinner
me: upuma
with chutney
Mom: who made
me: I made
Mom: coconut is available there
me: no, I just imagined it
so, technically, this is ichutney

Government declares Autodriver slang neo-classical

Union culture minister Ambika Soni declared to a gathering of rabid mongrels and laughter club chairmans in New Delhi today that the language used by Autorickshaw drivers across the country would be honoured with neo-classical status on the forthcoming Valentine's Day. When questioned about the motive behind this unexpected move, Ms Soni said that it is high time that this rather expressive and popular language be recognised. She also said that the central government would allocate special funds for all civil servants to travel by autorickshaws across the length and breadth of the country, which in turn would proliferate autorickshaws, and hence their drivers, thereby enriching the language.

However, unnamed sources from the Congress Party revealed to our special correspondents that this was a move by the party to replicate the success of the "Joe the plumber" campaign run by the Republican Party during the recently concluded presidential elections in the USA. "Soni-ji will be our Palin-ji" said a rather enthusiastic Congress supporter. "Instead of Joe the plumber, we are going to use Ramesh Rahmatullah George Singh Purohit Yadav Pillai Shenoy the autodriver", he / she added. "See, using this approach, we neither miss any of the states where we do not control the state governments, nor do we miss any religion, making us the only truly secular party in the country", said he / she.

"Just to make sure that our campaign is a success, we are going to start a youth-autodriver wing, whose symbol will be, yes, an autodriver", said Capt Obvious and ran away as soon as Ms Sonia Gandhi came around.

Obama declared Zilla Parishat Chairman of Udupi district

In a rather bizarre and confusing development, Senator Barack Hussein Obama of the United States of America has been declared the chairman of the Udupi district Zilla Parishat, a source reports from Manipal Udupi. According to the authorities, there was some misconfiguration in the central server which managed the American elections, and hence all the votes were diverted to Udupi, where Obama has achieved a landslide victory against Mr Ramesh Shetty, the owner of 2 different Udupi hotels and one ice cream parlour in Downtown Udupi. A local, when questioned on this issue just said enthaddu saavu maaraayre, and went away.

RPL

First of all, yayyyy! for two reasons. One, we steam-rolled the Aussies in Mohali and Two, Chandrayaan I is successful.

Talking of cricket, over the past year or so, there's been a huge hullabaloo over the death of Test cricket and the rise of the slam-bang version, the Twenty20. While the purists root for the former, the not-terribly-interested-in-cricket-but-want-some-fun type of junta seem to have their allegiances firmly with the latter form. But few can deny that the latter makes more money and is watched by more and hence is here to stay, whether or not at the cost of Test cricket is something that we have to wait and see.

A lot has been written about the origins of Test cricket, and a lot of people with lots of time (LPWLT) on their hands have spent hours arguing about such literature rather than watch the game itself and enjoy it. But few people know the real origins of Twenty20 (T20 for short). Since I am one of those guys with a lot of time on my hands to be profligated on pointless pursuits, I spent time making up a baseless theory for its origins, which I shall now proceed to present in front of the public who refuses pay in spite of hinting, cajoling, hollering and begging by the author, who is, as you might have guessed, I.

It all started on a rather normal day in Bangalore, now Bengalooru, renamed so to satisfy the whims and fancies of another LPWLT. A motley bunch of boys aged 7 to 12 were playing cricket on 9th Main Road, Rajajinagar and another such group was indulging in identical pleasures in SiddaramadiNNe. For the sake of narration, let us deem the former group's leader one Mr R.V, 4th std B section. The latter group is inconsequential and was mentioned just to mislead the readers.

Well, the reality of the matter is that RV was a prolific swinger of the bat with a penchant to connect every now and then and promptly deposit the ball a fair distance away (Mr V can vouch from his couch for this), sometimes to the chagrin of neighbours, inside their houses' compounds. The inevitable happened, and R.V's group (RVG, for short) was evicted from 9th Main Road (TIH, RVG (RVG, FS) WE 9MR, for short). In the face of such adversity, what else can the kids do but to head to Rammandir Grounds? And so, they did. And the rest as they say, is history.

The primary problem with the Rammandir Grounds was the presence of two very busy thoroughfares on either side of the playground. Hence, with high probability, whenever RV swung and connected well, the ball would blaze away into nothingness (more like another kid just swooping on the ball and running away). This problem aggravated over time because of the pocket money that RVG's members used to get was a measly 4 rupees per week, and this loss of ball event would occur every other day, sometimes thanks to the enthusiasm of another member of RVG inspired by the exploits of RV. After the loss of innumerable (3) rubber balls, the consensus in the group was to either make RV non-playing captain or to modify the rules.

When the poor kids were trying to cope with the task of solving this annoyance, another unforeseen hurdle cropped up in the form of mid-term exams. Parents of the warriors of RVG (WRVG, for short) started forcing them to come back and study for the exams after 5 pm. Fast runs had to be scored often to win the matches, but they had to be done without losing the ball. The solution that was hit upon is stuff of genius and the rest as they say, is History II.

The solution was simple, SHORT PITCH CRICKET (SHORT PITCH CRICKET, for kicks). If the ball hit the walls of the playground on full toss, the batsman was out. To save time, bowling was replaced by chucking, thereby causing people like Shahid, Shoaib and Grant to believe that it is legitimate in all forms of cricket. Such was the appeal of this format to the crowd of 70-somethings who used to loiter there with their grandchildren, that they forced the latter into getting involved, and soon a sizeable number were either playing or claiming to play this form of the game. Soon after, floodlights arrived, jobless 20-somethings calling themselves RMC (Rammandir Cricketeers Club) replaced the 7 to 12 year olds and RMC Cup was born.

The ECB saw this, fudged it, and called it Twenty20.

Thassit, now you mofos, find something better to do, I want to finish homework.

PS: I am RV. If you bother me, I will hit you for a six.

PPS: These are some photos of the aforementioned people playing this form of cricket:

ooTa and saappaaD matters

Hello there.

How are you? Everything fine with amma and appa at home? Is the elder sister keeping well? ah! nice nice. And what about the younger brother? Doing well in studies? What you said? First rankaa? Nice nice!

One small peeve you said no in the last call, tell now. What you say? Opposite house woman still throwing lemons eh? Well, too bad. Next time I come, I will come with the all new Microsoft Lemon Woman Repellent. hokay? nice.

And pakkad mane dove, how she is? All fine, nice wonly, I must say.

And now for something completely different.

Q: If you want to make Palak Paneer and there is no Paneer, what do you do?
A: Simple, imagine that there is Paneer and make Palak iPaneer

aDios Dingos.

Low

Low
Originally uploaded by rajesh.vee@gmail.com

The erstwhile library of Columbia University

Mommy crazy - II

Mom:
when you come to India, do get amamai a frock

Rajesh:
size?

Mom:
free size

Rajesh:
hehe

Mom:
can you come on skype with cam

Rajesh:
I am listening to samaja vara gamana now
not now

Mom:
i want to see you

Rajesh:
I cannot show myself
I am naked
and wearing leaves

Mom:
we want to see you in that pose

Rajesh:
cannot
censored

...

...

Mom:
what is the occasion in the temple

Rajesh:
FOOD

Mom:
why free food

Rajesh:
not free
good food that is all
saturday menu in temple canteen is awesome

Mom:
where is the temple located n what swami temple

Rajesh:
saadinchane
It is in Queens, about 10 miles away.
It is Rajinikanth temple

Dance Raja Dance!

Over the years, we have produced an amazing number of heroes in Indian cinema. Here, I endeavour to trace the evolution of dance in Indian films, starting circa 1983 (for the ignorant, my brain began contributing to the computation in this year).

People loved Mithunda back then. I guess they still do, I mean, who else has made such a wide range of films and flopped with such amazing regularity? For those of you who often take pains to beg to disagree or generally beg for a living, please refer to this.

He was the guy who really started it all in India, here is a masterpiece from that film:


And there was this too:


Brilliant, no?

I think around this time there was a surplus of electricity in Karnataka. Some creative mastermind took advantage of this situation and came up with this:



baDDi maganige lakwaa hoDeetu annstide (It looks like the interest son was hit by a stroke).

Around the same time, Tamizhnaad was waging a war against our indi brethren. Not to be left far behind in showcasing our heroes' dancing talents, the asal tamizh makkaL came up with this:



That was the 80s.

And the 90s was a bore. Forgettable decade in which Indian cinema did nothing pioneering, well, almost. But the bottomline is that I don't have anything to write about it, and hence, it was a forgettable decade.

Since I have come to the US of A, my exposure to Indian cinema has reduced drastically. But then, when something revolutionary happens, somehow, I will get the news. And then, I just stand up and notice because of lack of better things to do.



I think that the next logical step in Indian film dance would be this:




Phew! Oh! by the way, the last 2 videos are picturised on the same guy.

Rebirth ambitions...

If I am reborn, these are the 5 people that I will collectively want to be:

1) Rajinikanth in Padaiyappa: Ah! The charm, the grace, the gait, all in one slick package. En vazhi tanee vazhi!(My route is different). Ah! What a line! kaNNu, nee oru aambaLaiya kalyaaNam paNNikkaNamunnu aasai paDarai. naa oru pombaLaiya kalyaaNam paNNikkaNamunnu aasai paDarEn. anda poNNu nee illai (Dear, you want to marry a true man. I want to marry a true woman. You, are not that woman).

2) Rajinikanth in Mannan: Tame the haughty woman, I say. Yeah. Give it to her, show her the works of how the poor guy rocks in front of the rich, arrogant girl by promptly marrying her while remaining union leader in her company itself!.

3) Rajinikanth in Muthu: Drive the cart, sing some nice songs, be loyal to the master while owning the whole damn thing that your master enjoys, albeit without your own knowledge. Oruvan oruvan modalaaLi, ulagil maTTravan tozhilaaLi. vidhiyai nilaippavan EmaaLi adai veMDru muDippavan arivaaLi (There is one owner, the rest in the world are workers. One who is dependent on fate is a loser, the one who beats it is the smart guy!) Ah! What a song! kalakiTTai talaivaa (You rock, leader!)

4) Rajinikanth in Sivaji: Beat the system for doing good to other people. If someone swindles you of all your money (made as a software systems architect in the US of A, something like 200 Cr INR. How, may I know?), just call him saying a that the IT department is going to raid his place and expose his unaccounted assets, check where he packs them off, take them from there and get your money back. Also make about 46 000 crores by doing this to other such evil people. Finally, when he tries to kill you, Sivaji himself, somehow beat the system again and return as MGR!

5) Finally, Rajinikanth in Thalapathi: What an intense film! The scene in which he says Go Fish to Amrish Puri is just kick ass. As is the scene in which he says goodbye to his beloved. An absolutely slick movie! Rakammaa kaiya taTTu. Enough said!




(For those of you who did not get it yet, this is the quintessential a fanboy article!)

Predictive Text Swearing!

Watch more DIY videos on 5min.com

The legend of Travis Pastrana

Sheer daring!

My daughter

Priya:

i dream of the day when NP-completeness is taught in kindergarten

Rajesh:

nicest try

Priya: i dream of the day when NP-completeness is taught in kindergarten

Priya:

evolution man

our kids are noticibly smarter than us

Rajesh:

That dream is NP-Complete

idiot, no one is teaching elementary number theory in kindergarten yet

not after all these years...

Priya:

i blame TV

Rajesh:

no one teaches congruences in kindergarten

eh?

Priya:

i blame TVs ... cartoons make kids dumb

Rajesh:

kindly die

do you want your daughter to be 35 from birth?

Priya:

my daughter will win the nobel, turing and fields medal ... before i die

Rajesh:

She will be a burglar

Priya:

that too :D

Rajesh:

My daughter will win the wimbledon, nobel, turing, cricket, rugby and football world cups and be chairman of IMF

She will win the Ranji also

and also a KQA quiz

Priya:

my daughter will win an oscar playing herself in a movie about herself

Rajesh:

my daughter will buy the oscars and keep winning it forever

in all categories

she will also win the best daughter in a daughter's role

Priya:

my daughter will clone herself and rule the world

Rajesh:

my daughter will break those rules

Priya:

my daughter will solve world poverty, hunger,population and pollution ... during spring break

Rajesh:

my daughter will have to make her own problems to solve because she would've solved everything else by birth

my daughter will throw your daughter in a dustbin

Priya:

my daughter will prove the Shenoy Thesis: anything which can or cannot be computed can be computed by a Shenoy

Rajesh:

my daughter will expose the farce in this

and prove the Rajesh thesis: If you don't know how to do it, forget it

Priya:

he he ... this is a nerdy versiobn of Chuck Norrisisms

Ways to impress kannada gal it seems...

chitte chitte

Carrying on the noble task started by Priya, I hereby endeavour to translate some amazing poetry seen in kannada cinema in recent times to my readers




He: aye chiTTe chiTTe chiTTe chiTTe KR maarukaTTe naan ninage baredu koTTe
aye butterfly butterfly butterfly butterfly KR market, I gave it off to you.
She: aye koTTe koTTe koTTe koTTe kannambaaDi kaTTe naan ninge muDipu iTTe
aye gave gave gave gave kannambaaDi kaTTe, I mortgaged it for you
He: ninna kaNN yaakO nanne gurrukoTTyaave aase barrekaTTyaave
your eyes for some reason stare at me, desire starts coming
She: ninna tuTi nange padya hELikoTyaave guMDge ghaavu koTyaave
your lips teach me some poem, give me a chest wound

He: aye chiTTe chiTTe chiTTe chiTTe KR maarukaTTe naan ninage baredu koTTe
aye butterfly butterfly butterfly butterfly KR market, I gave it off to you.
She: aye koTTe koTTe koTTe koTTe kannambaaDi kaTTe naan ninge muDipu iTTe
aye gave gave gave gave kannambaaDi kaTTe, I mortgaged it for you
He: ninna kaNN yaakO nanne gurrukoTTyaave aase barrekaTTyaave
your eyes for some reason stare at me, desire starts coming
She: ninna tuTi nange padya hELikoTyaave guMDge ghaavu koTyaave
your lips teach me some poem, give me a chest wound

Them: hey ya!
hey ya!
Them: hey ya!
hey ya!
Them: hey ya!
hey ya!
Them: hey ya!
hey ya!
Them: hey ya!
hey ya!
Them: hey ya!
hey ya!


She: building kaTTo mEstri welding maaDikO, nanna welding maaDiko
building construction superintendent do welding for yourself, do welding of me with yourself
He: buildup yaake bittari, tOLalli sErikO, baMdu tOLalli sErikO
why the buildup bittari, join the shoulder, come and join the shoulder
She: aye bhElu puriya baalaka bEkaaddu kELikO
aye! bhEl puri's boy ask whatever you want
He: paanipuriya paanaka baay tumba heerikO
take in a mouthful of paanipuri's sweet water
She: neenee kissu koTTaroo nandu seatu punctureu
if you kiss my seat will be punctured
He: neenu muTTi biTTaroo ayyO naanu punctureu
if you touch me, Oh! I am only punctured!

He: aye chiTTe chiTTe chiTTe chiTTe KR maarukaTTe naan ninage baredu koTTe
aye butterfly butterfly butterfly butterfly KR market, I gave it off to you.
She: aye koTTe koTTe koTTe koTTe kannambaaDi kaTTe naan ninge muDipu iTTe
aye gave gave gave gave kannambaaDi kaTTe, I mortgaged it for you


Them: hey ya!
hey ya!
Them: hey ya!
hey ya!
Them: hey ya!
hey ya!
Them: hey ya!
hey ya!
Them: hey ya!
hey ya!
Them: hey ya!
hey ya!

She: naan oMdu lottery company, bumperu hoDedukO, ah! bumperu hoDedukO!
I am a lottery company, come and hit the bumper, ah! hit the bumper!
He: krishna bhagyalakshmiyE marriageu maaDikO, nannE marriageu maaDikO
krishna bhagyalakshmi, marry, marry me wonly
She: baLegaara neenu pOkiri touchingu maaDikO
Oh! banglesman loafer, do the touching
He: baLe haakutteeni chOkkari fittingu nODikO
I will put the bangles on you, O girl, check the fitting
She: naanu baambay miTTaayi neenu local saaraayi
I am bombay candy, you are local arrack
He: naanu ninna sipaayi aaDu abba abbaayi
I am your soldier, play hide and seek

He: aye chiTTe!
aye butterfly!
She: En chiTTe?
what butterfly?
He: aaa keTTe!
aaa I am screwed!

He: aye chiTTe chiTTe chiTTe chiTTe KR maarukaTTe naan ninage baredu koTTe
aye butterfly butterfly butterfly butterfly KR market, I gave it off to you.
She: aye koTTe koTTe koTTe koTTe kannambaaDi kaTTe naan ninge muDipu iTTe
aye gave gave gave gave kannambaaDi kaTTe, I mortgaged it for you

He: KR market baredu koTTe!
I gave off KR market to you!
She: marketu ashTEnaa?
Only market eh?
He: mathikere baredu koTTe!
I gave off mathikere!
She: mathikere iTkoMDu naanEn maaDli?
What will I do with mathikere?
He: MG Roadu baredu koTTe!
I gave off MG Road!
She: idoMdEnaa? byaare iddre hELu
Only this? If you have something else, tell me.
He: bengaLoorne baredu koTTe! bengaLoorne baredu koTTe!
I gave off Bangalore itself! I gave off Bangalore itself!
She: aanh! hang hELu! ayyO! nann jilEbi!
aanh! tell like that! ayyO! my jilEbi!

Randomness

Srikanth: you two are devolving from pretty intelligent lads to two shakespeare's random monkeys

Rajesh: heh

I was always random, I am just corrupting him

Srikanth: if u're random, you have no seed
Rajesh: =)). I am pseudorandom, then

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pseudorandom

Context Free

Priya: this is a nice dating site ante http://www.plentyoffish.com/

Rajesh: Me prefer traditional thunderbolts

Priya: as opposed to a misbehaving bose speaker>

Rajesh: idiot

remember godfather?

He gets hit by "thunderbolt" in Sicily

Michael

Priya: ah! so ... how should i know context

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Context_free_grammar

Encryption!

Priya: i want my kid to be super intelligent

i want her to become a physicist

Rajesh: That will be my kid with your wife

Priya: fuck you

Rajesh: your kid with your wife will be something similar to Bush

Priya: i will encrypt my wife

Rajesh: =))

Statue!

Thanks to Srikanth for showing me this.

Best pickup line...

Tell her that you will walk her home and walk her to your home.

Tall, dark and...

Rajesh: my dreamgirl is tall, dark and buxom

Priya: i thought tall dark and tam-brahm

Rajesh: =))

Valentine's day

The people and events referred to in this post may or may not be real. Figuring out whether they are not is none of your business in the first place, so just read on.

It is neither dark, nor stormy. Nor is it a night. It is the morning of the 14th of February, 2008. Rakesh wakes up and decides to abuse the commercialism that is synonymous with the day. So, he puts up a gtalk status message deriding the concept that is Valentine's Day.

The whole day passes by without any significant incident in Rakesh's life. Well, almost the whole day, I must say.

Ramya is a hot girl. She is from Bangalore and is a Kannadiga, and Rakesh was always secretly putting line to her. On the morning of the day, she had asked him to wait for her at the university gate so that she could tell him something. Clearly, our man was excited about the prospects, albeit imaginary at this moment and dressed up well by the evening. But the fact that she would come and do whatever she did at 5 pm on 14th of February, 2008 was something that he had not imagined in his wildest dreams. And whether or not you are curious to know what it is, I am going to describe the incident.

Ramya came to Rakesh, bent down on one knee, took out a Rakhi and tied it on his hand. She said 'aNNa, neen noor varsha baaLbEku. elli aa annu sweet koDteeni' and put an old chocolate in his mouth. All the girls that she had gathered to see this burst out into a peal of laughter. Our hero's heart sank lower than the dead sea.

Rakesh's status message after this:
Chamak: Surprise / Betrayal: "Maga, Ramya nanage chamak koTTbiTTlu maga. Ramya nanage rose koDtaaLe aMkoMDidde, raakhi kaTTbiTTLu maga!"

Manohar's response:
Chamak: Surprise / Betrayal: Ramya Rakeshge chamak koTTbiTTlu maga. Ramya Rakeshge rose koDtaaLe aMkoMDiddnaMte, raakhi kaTTbiTTLaMte!

Lovemaking

Step 1: Obtain a bed
Step 2: Put it in a bed room
Step 3: Find a partner
Step 4: Boot machine up, preferably to linux or some *nix OS.
Step 5: Copy the contents given below into a makefile, put it in some place convenient and go to that directory in the shell
Step 6: Type make love , press return and enjoy

love: partner_find
      echo "Nice try sucker"
partner_find:
      echo "Yeah right!"

A special someone

Rajesh: What will you do after you find your special someone?

Priya: verify it in poly time

Rajesh: I will generalise her

Priya: in minkowski 4D space

Rajesh: we have no chance biDu

Rajesh: Remember Catch 22
Priya: ja
Rajesh: Remember the letter that Doc Daneeka's wife gets when he is supposed to be killed?
Priya: no
Rajesh: Dear Mrs., Mr., Miss, or Mr. and Mrs. Daneeka:

Words cannot express the deep personal grief I experienced when your husband, son, father or brother was killed, wounded or reported missing in action.
Priya: Now this is true non-determinism
Rajesh: =))

Mommy crazy - 1

Mom:
Ammammai wants to know about your happiness

Rajesh:
eh?
It is 6 kilos in mass

Mom:
underweight

Rajesh:
hehe

Mom:
Will you get info after the fees is paid

Rajesh:
yeah

Mom:
by what means

Rajesh:
pigeon
Mom:
tharlai